The Writhing Beast (part 1)
The Writhing Beast (part 1)
by funymony on
2012 May 22 at 04:05:05

Hello ladies and gents! How goes!?

I can't believe it's been over a year since I've adopted my dog, Shady. We've had amazing times together solving mysteries and adventuring through the great unknown!

One of our recent misadventures was when Shady tried to dig up the remains of my old body guard "Tiger Tail" in order to revive him. Luckily I stopped Shady before she could play God and I put a wooden plank over my buddy's resting place. I miss him manies.


I've been thinking about how much fun I've been having with Shady compared to the other animals who have fought zombie hordes beside me. I began to question which companion has been the best to hang out with?

Cats have the littlest responsibility attached to them which makes them great if you're really busy and just want a snuggle buddy for the night. They're also really good with sniper rifles and reconnaissance missions. Even though Tiger Tail passed away I still have another cat named "Bandit" who I had adopted around the same time. Bandit hates me though, she avoids me whenever she can. 

Dogs need constant attention or they'll get bored and leave on adventures without you. I have to tag along with Shady at least once a day so I don't miss out on any great operations. Last week we crossed paths with The League of Malevolent Llamas! If I hadn't given Shady her walk I would of missed out on such a rare confrontation! I get tired of watching over Shady but she could get shanked by hitmen at any moment! A pitbull has many enemies. The hard effort is worth it though, Shady has great stats to contribute to my party and she keeps my morale high. I can't help but feel happy around an animal that wags its tail just by being looked at. Dogs are amazing because they'll be your best friend just for a few kibbles! 

Spot n Shady

Unfortunately not all of my companions have been the greatest. A while back I grew fond of turtles because of how cute they looked but I didn't know how much maintenance they required. I adopted two adult turtles and spent hundreds of dollars to let them live in luxury. I gave them a 180 gallon tank and a briefcase filled with the fish and supplies they'd need to keep watch over my room. They worked really well together but didn't care about me because they were mercenaries looking out for nobody but themselves. At times they would even fight one another and damage the equipment I gave them to ward off evil doers!


Over time our partnership fell apart and after a year of investing into their nonsense I decided to relieve them of their duties. I handed them off to somebody who knew how to take care of them. I sent them back into the battlefield where they belonged.   

The Pond

Trudging through the tall grass, searching for opponents to kill.

Run Turtles

Overall, turtles are animals who don't give a damn. They crave the outdoors where they can hunt freely and dig bunkers underground. They are not affectionate creatures looking for hugs, they are true hard-shelled warriors who will mess you up if you cross their path. The love output is minimal and they burn a hole in your pocket, I certainly wouldn't recommend them as pets. (Especially Red Eared Sliders who require aquariums, those things are messy and a pain to clean.) It was still a good experience and I miss the atmosphere they added to my room.

Cat and Ferret

Another good friend of mine was Rocky, a feisty ferret who ALWAYS wanted Adventure. He was one hell of a fighter and a perfect companion for Bandit, the cat who I adopted while I had Rocky in my custody. They played together and picked up each others mannerisms. Bandit learned the "Weasel war dance" and Rocky learned to be one hell of a cat fighter. Unfortunately Rocky belonged to a friend of mine and I had to give him back after a few months. Years later Rocky disappeared, seeking out adventure in the suburban jungle. 

In the end, all of these animals were a blast to hang out with. If I could I would love to combine them all into a super-animal who does nothing but love and poop rainbows all day.


Shady Shades

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